You sound a little like my wife in that she also needs time to process feelings and doesn't want to talk about them until she has a clearer understanding of them. I, on the other hand, find this very frustrating because I want to talk out my feelings. When she withdraws to give herself time to process, the disconnections feels like agony and I want to tear down the wall between us! I'm just recently getting a little better at allowing that wall to be there for a time, and allowing her to be wherever she needs to be at. But I still find it difficult!
Relationships are quite the journey aren't they! They seem to bring to the forefront all of our "stuff". And alot of us on this forum want more than one of them at a time! We must be crazy!!