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Old 06-13-2011, 02:17 AM
polyexplorer polyexplorer is offline
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 70

Hi Sikau,

I can totally relate to your story. I am 20 years married in a monogamous relationship and we have been dealing with the poly side of things for the last 6 years while still remaining monogamous. I know that I have entered the rabbit hole and you can't turn back. My wife is mono and doesn't want to be in a poly relationship.

I love my wife deeply. So where does it leave us now? Just like you, do I sacrifice the joy of being with her (and our 3 fantastic daughters) so I can be more authentic to myself? But then living an inauthentic life is also unbearable...

Like so many have said, it's taking one day at a time. Today do I want to be with her. Yes. Tomorrow? I don't know yet while we still feel like things have not reached some sort of resolution...

The other thing that I have found to be difficult but really important is to be honest about how I feel. As soon as my feelings about our whole situation or the way I feel she is treating me or dealing with it are getting between us, I talk to her about it. This is really hard... I also ask the same from her towards me too... I can sometimes keep pushing a little hard rather than just letting her be in the space that she needs to be.

I still hold hope that some sort of resolution happens. I'm not sure what that is, but something where we can still be together and live with contentment in our situation....

All the best!
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