Sorry I can't quote you GS. I am using my phone for this.
To answer why I feel threatened. We spoke in great detail last night. One of the topics was specifically her and the reaction I am having to her. I think it's alarms ringing inside of me that she is unhealthy to be around. Meaning her actions are self destructive. I have had to deal with alot of codependency issues. Being attractive to self destructive people (not just in dating, friendships as well) and I've gotten burned everytime in the process of trying to get them to see the greatness about themselves that they cannot see. I have grown up and I have learned that I have no space in my life for this type of person, so much so that I am actually repelled by them. This is the threat of danger I get from her. When you've been burned you stop playing with fire. He is attracted to this, but as he said last night, he avoids her for the same reason. She is not in a healthy place and it's best to leave that one alone.
Our talks last night have left me in a place of peace. We are forever changed because of the philosophies we have learned. Having closed our relationship those old tendencies are coming back as you said and we broke them down last night. We have agreed possibilities are endless and we are living one of those right now. Just he and I. That could change and after our talk last night... That's okay.
Originally we made our agreement during our grieving process. He couldn't imagine going through that destruction again and I easily swore off anyone and everyone after the father of my child who I've been with for 8 years not only left us but attacked me and harrassed me and hasn't seen his daughter since christmas day (as he threw me around while holding her)... I hate talking about it, but given all that we not only closed the door to poly we welded it shut. So here we are now and attractions have been happening and because that is supposed to be a dead horse it was scary. We are open to the possibilities again "just not right now" I think we are still healing, and truly enjoying each other. We are def full. This is a lovey way to say it.
Last edited by Ilove2men; 06-12-2011 at 06:39 PM.