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Old 06-12-2011, 04:22 PM
idrider47 idrider47 is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 24
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Hi All
Thanks so much for jumping in and giving me your honest opinions. I really like how the people on this forum are caring and kind.

As I proceed further down this path, I am continuing to find just how trained my mind is to think mono. I'm definitely not looking for assurances or expecting guarantees. I'm in a long term, committed relationship that I strongly value. I want to open my mind and continue to grow as a person, and I want to do it in a way that will not bring harm to that relationship. In reading many threads here, it felt like there was a missing perspective, or so I thought.

All the responses to my questions have given me things to think about and work through as I try to stick a crow-bar into the mind and pry it open from years of conditioning towards mono. It honestly never occurred to me that, in a poly way of thinking, a person wouldn't have to come to a decision, to pick one relationship over another, but instead would just have both. Thanks to all for pointing this out, as this has been transformative in my thinking. Why in the world would a poly person leave a loving relationship for another when they could have both, or get caught up in comparing or somehow ranking relationship. I completely agree with the thought to just enjoy all relationships for what they are and leave it at that. I'm sure all this just shows my poly-immaturity, and that I have a long way to go to shed the mono conditioning.

I'm sure this won't be the last time I need help with the crow-bar. Thanks!
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IDRider47
married, heterosexual male currently in an a newly opened relationship; married to RunBabyRun
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