Thank you all for your comments. Rider and I have poured over and discussed all the advice and comments made which address our questions and concerns. In reading these comments again I realize that I'm thinking from a place of fear in some ways; I'm trying too hard to manufacture "the perfect situation". I need to just relax and let whoever comes, come and to relax about the timing too. This is not some mail order bride situation and I need to stop trying to figure every little thing out before I/we take the plunge. Thanks again.
married, heterosexual female currently in a newly opened relationship; married to IDRider47
"Courage is going from failure to failure without a loss of enthusiasm" Winston Churchill
"A ship in the harbor is safe. But that's not what ships are made for" William Shedd