Originally Posted by RunBabyRun
1. I had originally thought that I’d prefer to get involved with a single man who didn’t necessarily define himself as poly. My logic was this, single guys (with no intensions or desire for marriage) would probably be more than happy to have a gf that’s happily married and entrenched in her life. He could spend time with me but still have his full life without the fear of being “tied down”. I’d make it clear that he could, and I’d encourage this, have other girlfriends and sexual relationships. This would allow me to have a buffer against dependency. I guess I was thinking kind of a FWB although a bit deeper.
Maybe it's just me - but I feel your thinking is bass-ackwards.
Someone who already is in some relationship is less likely to develop dependence. And to be too needy. They already have stuff they are balancing in their lives.
A single person may not have this and you may become priority one. Which doesn't sound like what you want ?