Good for you, for realizing you're giving more than you should for your own well being... sounds like you and hubs should have some nice long talks on the phone this weekend, getting as much long distance quality time as you can, and some good ol' cyber-or-phone-sex to boot. You need some lovin,' some quality time, some flirting and romance and fun too! One of the most important rules for poly couples, imo, is to be attentive to the primary even when in NRE with the OSO! It's a Jedi mind trick to do it sometimes, but definitely beneficial for all concerned.
That course on domestic violence does sound hard to take and upsetting.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
Mags, F, 60, poly-dating, loving and living with
miss pixi, F, 38
Punk, 41, M (dating since Oct 2015)
and a few more casual relationships