Wow, I really wasn't expected so many diverse responses in such a small amount of time. I thank everyone for their opinions. I haven't done anything about it yet and life just has gone on as normal yesterday and today. I am still debating on just letting it go or not. The fact that he sent the video to her does not bother me at all. And for the record it is something that he would normally send to me as well. I acknowledge that they have a very different relationship than he and I do, to a point that some times the differences are somewhat comical and ironic (not in bad ways). Just as much as I acknowledge that my relationship with my bf is very different that mine with my husband. Oh the perks of poly
This was a boundary that we could have easily slid out of but we hadn't....yet. We have been having tons of conversations lately resulting in eliminating boundaries to let the other relationships evolve into whatever they may be; which both of us want I may add. What irks me the most is that when I did ask him if we still were following this particular boundary he was very clear to me that I needed to make sure I let him know if and when I sent anything to my bf, but then he did the exact opposite and couldn't even tell me that he broke the boundary. As many posters have said, boundaries can't be one sided, they have to be agreed upon by those making the boundaries.
I am leaning towards just letting this one go but wonder if this is just leaving the door open for more dishonesty in the future. All in all, a video is a very minor thing in the whole scheme of things.