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Old 06-10-2011, 09:41 PM
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sage sage is offline
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: Melbourne, Australia
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Excellent thread guys. Some really insightful discussion.

This is the crux of it for me: quoting Overthinker

"There have been some stressful things about our situation and I think if he found out that I had been snooping I think he would just throw in the towel and say he is just done with the relationships; which is something I don't want to have happen."

...like I said "tip of the iceberg" and Grounded Spirit (such wisdom) expanded.

OT has a very precariously balanced relationship that only seems to be able to function if her husband is allowed to lie and not be challenged over it for fear of the ramifications.

I would go as far as to say that you shouldn't be in a relationship under these conditions. I loved the way Sour Girl and Neon put it. What's really important here: that someone who isn't trust worthy is allowed his privacy or that a party in a committed relationship feels safe, loved and important enough to be honest about what she has done and how she feels without the relationship ending?
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