Is it possible that cheating is SUCH a big deal because being married is the ideal to which we "should" strive in our society? When someone cheats, they undermine this "achievement".
Perhaps if we didn't tie our identity so closely to our marriages/relationships/etc. cheating would not be such a slap in the face?
About six months ago, a friend of mine told me her husband had cheated on her. She was a wreck. I realized I really couldn't relate to her. I was very sorry for her pain, but I couldn't think of anything Indigo could do that would cause me that much hurt. Other friends were making rumbles that she should leave him, but I mentally shrugged it off and wasn't surprised when she did decide to work things out.
I'm amazed at how much my perspective has changed on this subject in the last couple of years. I used to think anyone who didn't immediately split up with their cheating partner was a moron and just asking for more cheating. Now when I hear about it, I wonder how they can work on the underlying cause and move past it.
Not sure how much of this is poly, and how much is just growing up.