Did you try OKCupid? It isn't a poly dating site, but it is the one that most poly's I know use... add poly to your profile and it will pop up for others that that is what you are interested in...
It sounds like the poly dating style is not your thing... meh, thats fine. It isn't for everyone. It can seem a bit casual for some and be more about the open sexuality than actually loving others to ones fullest. If it doesn't fit for you, then don't do it. If you are jealous or struggling with that kind of dynamic, don't hang out with people who practice that kind of poly... just simply accept and find others that suit your way of doing poly better.
You said you went to a group. I suggest going again with the idea that you are there to make friends. If you are not the poly dating type, then finding friends and see what develops from that. I think that is the best way to go. If nothing comes of anything from anyone, then at least you have friends that are like minded. That is worth its weight in gold. Five years from now they might introduce you to someone to love or they themselves might become a lover... you never know right?
One thing for sure, it doesn't all happen in a day and nor should it. In my experience, relationships that are healthy and prosperous are built over time and continue to be built everyday... not once and then you are set for life. That is a consumeristic way of looking at relationships. It might work for buying a new game or something, but doesn't work for relationships. They are an investment.
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
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