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Old 06-10-2011, 05:38 PM
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vixtresses vixtresses is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: South Florida
Posts: 108

Hmm. Interesting. DF and I were talking again during my lunch break and happened up on a possible hitch. He had kind of assumed that by the time we get married (which is still up in the air, we've been talking about anytime between August this year and maybe April next year, but it's soonish), we'll be monogamous again, or I would have "quit my wandering" by then. Hmm.

We talked some more about it and I let him know that since we'd been using terms like "relationship" and "love", I had thought that we were talking about more potentially long term things, that wouldn't be simply cut off after our wedding.

So... potential big issue, but no apparent hurt feelings? There were no tears, no insults, there was no arguing. I mean, there was an obvious disagreement, and we're both going to be thinking about it and probably talking about it again.

He does seem to be hesitant and apprehensive about other people knowing what's going on. That's another potential issue.

He also is pretty uninterested in reading or joining this forum to learn more. He said he'd done a little reading online, though...

I'm a little concerned. So far, all of our interactions about this whole poly thing have been good. No apparent hurt feelings, no tears, no arguing. Almost too good. DF does have a tendency to keep quiet about things that bother him until they bother him TOO much, and it'll all come spilling out later on (usually it seems to coincide with a night of drinking). I've been trying to take care to offer him ample opportunity to voice concerns or fears or worries or hurts, and I've let him know that it's OK to feel any particular way that he feels, and he keeps reassuring me that he feels OK, that he's OK with this, that he wants me to be "free to explore who I am" and stuff.

I almost wonder if I should take him drinking to see if he suddenly spills his guts and tells me he hates the idea or something.

This is actually quite worrying, and I'm not sure if it's just me and my usual way of over analyzing things or if there's an actual reason to worry.
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