Originally Posted by AutumnalTone
I'd suggest worrying more about your snooping and the issues driving it. And then figure out how to apologize to him.
Then you can worry about him sending videos to his OSO.
Were my wife to go snooping in my email/phone/whatever, that's when I know it would be time to leave.
I agree with this. Everyone is entitled to feel like a free and private human being regardless of whether they have something to hide
Overthinker, I'm having a hard time empathizing with your being upset about the naughty video--that doesn't make it invalid
, it's just that from my vantage point, the relationship he has with his OSO is different
from yours and therefore, the dynamic is arranged to satisfy different needs. If every relationship dynamic were the same, we'd all have few reasons to embrace poly and love would be fucking boring.
Maybe he just doesn't feel in the naughty video way with you...but YOU are sharing things that OSO can not.
I'm not you and I don't have a lot of experience but I would let go of the "me first" vid rule and try to figure out how to satisfy or address what ever need you have that would alleviate your discomfort with letting it go.