I'd suggest worrying more about your snooping and the issues driving it. And then figure out how to apologize to him.
Then you can worry about him sending videos to his OSO.
Were my wife to go snooping in my email/phone/whatever, that's when I know it would be time to leave.
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.
While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.