So we got.a chance to text a little today. I think he gets it a little more today. I think trying to do all of this long distance is just hard. I dont get any time with him i dont get the hugs and kisses and sex. No rewards just he promise of them at a future date. Its hard for me because i really need touch and affection to feel loved and doing without that is hard enough but add in someone else getting it while im not and it just bites.
He wants her and i to talk maybe in email about allmof this. I want to but i feel so negative right now and i dont want to vomit that onto her. I just keepnthinking that the man she knows and is in a relationship with is not the man ive known for the past 5 or 6 years. Hes made all of these great changes and i havent really gotten to benefit from it yet. Sort of but not really i really wish we had gotten a chance to get out shit together and spend time together with all of the good changea before i had to jump through these hoops. And since they have such limited time together (only until the end of august when he comes home) i didnt and dont feel i can say no. But i also dont know how to work through these things without getting the touch and tue hugs and the good stuff. :-(