Thread: I need advice
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Old 10-08-2009, 02:14 PM
mzd mzd is offline
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 6
Default I need advice

Ok, so I'm very new to the polyamory life. I just found out there was a word for it and have been on the computer for 2 days reading everything I can find. Nothing I have found is close to what is going on in my life. I can't be the only one with this kind of issue.
Heres my story. I started massage school last Aug and met a girl. We were just friends until one drunkin Feb night. I have been married for 14 year and have 2 wonderful children 13 and 10. I'm husband caught us and like many men asked if he could join. This is my first bisexual relationship. Even though I have always been attracted to women.
Things have been going great. She even went with us on our family vacation. The kids love her and her spending the night and being around all the time doesn't seem to bother them a bit. They even ask if she coming over. We have never told the kids what kind of relationship it is. Heres the kicker we now have to explain to them the nature of our relationship and that she is pregnant. We have talked about how we plan to raise the baby. That all three of us are going to be equal parents. At this time she is not going to move in, but get an apartment close to us. We have all agreed that we moved realy fast in the begining. That we need to take a step back and slow it down for the kids and everyone feelings. I'm still working threw some jelousy issues because he was just mine for so long. Even though I love seeing them together and I couldn't bare to loose her, she a great person and I love her. My 10yr daughter I think will be fine with it. My son on the other hand I'm not sure how to go about it with him. To make him understand that his dad isn't cheating and to not loose his respect. He is a very differant and complex child not at all like other boys.
We are also having problems with her mom. She doesn't understand or except that it is all of us. That she is not just sleeping with a married man. I think she needs to be more straight forward and completly honest with her mom. She has never told her the complete truth. Her mom think that it was just sex and we a just going to be friends and going to play an active part in the baby's life. She doesn't think her mom can handle the whole truth. I've told her moms can deal with alot more than we think as long as we don't treat them like thier stupid.
She also plans on lieing to the rest of her family and her dad. I think an entire lifetime is a long time to keep this kind of a lie. Expecialy when the baby starts talking and talks about his/her other momma. My husband and I have both told our parents and gave them the honest truth. Both sets have taken it well and understand that stuff like this happens. They still haven wraped thier head around it being a loving relationship yet. They think it was just sex, but we have told them that it is more than that. It's going to take time for then to completly understand. Right now they think we're swingers.
So you see any advice would help.
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