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Old 06-09-2011, 02:33 PM
Minxxa Minxxa is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 497
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
Me too, and people often look very different IRL to their pics. It's all that darn Photoshopping going on! I, for one, don't photograph well. I have a very expressive face and the whole 'freezed moment of reality' thing that pics do doesn't do it justice.
I'm the same way. I'm much better in three dimensions than two...

So hubs and I had a little bump in the road last night. He was talking about going out with his GF this weekend to do something and I just realized I needed a freaking break. He's only been going out with her for a month and she's only been in the equation for 6 weeks and I realized I've spent half or most of every weekend for the past month working on dealing with my issues and feelings while they were out together. I just need ONE weekend to just BE. Without having to do the emotional/mental work. So I told him that and he was ok with it but disappointed and I just got a little mad. I feel like I'm working my ass off over here so he can have the life he wants and I'm really not getting anything out of it (yet). I know that he loves me more and has those feelings but he's 3,000 miles away so I don't get to actually BENEFIT from any of it and while it's good work and necessary work it's still freaking HARD DAMN WORK. And sometimes it's exhausting. Dealing with my feelings and emotions and making sure I'm not vomiting it all over him is not easy and sometimes I feel like the better I do it the more he thinks it's easy and the more he pushes the boundaries.

In some ways I feel like he's spoiled because I do all of this stuff and he doesn't have to. I know someday he will... and he says he's thought about it and worked through it and thinks it won't be a big deal when it's me going out there. Frankly I think from my personal experience that you end up feeling a lot of shit you don't expect when REALITY happens, not just a projection of what you think it mlight be like. I am experiencing a lot of stuff I never dreamed I would... and my guess is that he will, too, but since he's never had to go through it at all he has this rosy picture of how it will be. Maybe it will really be easier for him... I know that everybody is different and he doesn't see things the same way I do. I just think he's a little naive about it, which worries me because I think he's going to have a harder time with it than he thinks and it's going to catch him off-guard.

Anyway, so he's going to take this weekend off. I feel crappy about the whole thing, though...
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