Thank you for your words of incouragement and I will start to think of myself. It has been a long time since I have done so. I am the type of person that will usually put others infront of myself. Their happiness is my happiness but along the way I have lost my happiness if that makes sense. There was a long conversation last night with the friend and I expressed my anger but not in a screaming and I hate you way. I told him that I was angery at him for wanting this and I had been thinking that maybe our friendship was over. I also told him that he has been a great friend to both me and my wife so I was torn in to different directions. I know the wife has been missing the three of us together so I am making an effort to try to rebuild this dynamic. Also found out that he is unsure of this arrangment as well. Kind of made me feel a little better knowing I am not the only one who is having issues with this. The wife says she sees a wonderful life with all of us together but him and I are not sure. I guess it is good that we are all talking right now. I wish my wife could explain what she sees and how she views it all working out but she cannot explain it. Is this normal to only go by a feeling and not have some sort of plan? I am one of those everything has a manual or directions to follow kinda of guy. I have been reading alot of threads with Mono/Poly relationships and it seems that all have had similar issues. I guess what it comes down to is if all are not for it should we try it because she wants it? I love her so much that I do want her to be happy but the Mono in me wishes it was just me that could satisfy her. Unrealistic I know because in reality one person does not give you everything you need. Please keep comenting and I will take all advice and suggestions.