Hi from Idaho
Hi from Idaho.
My husband, IDRider47, and I are just starting on this journey together and I’ve found this forum to be very helpful thus far. We have been married for about 20 years now and are in a great place.
For the past 9 months or so I’ve been doing some biology/anthropology research and a few of the books that have particularly impacted me are “Sex at Dawn” and “The Myth of Monogamy” (among many other less recognizable books). My approach is a scientific one and I am convinced that monogamy is not a human universal and that polyamory is a legitimate lifestyle and arguably, the most biologically consistent. So, my brain is there.
My husband (henceforth, Rider) and I were talking about some great marriage stuff about 12 days back and I broached the poly topic. He’s more mono oriented but curious and I originally thought I was more poly oriented but now I’m not sure. Once things went from more general to specific (a picture he liked on a poly dating site and his creation of a profile) I had a meltdown. I will post about that on another thread because I was totally in the wrong there and I’d like some help with that.
We are taking baby steps at this point and have not decided whether or not we will open our marriage or when. We are in the information gathering stage right now. This is a journey for us, together.
I will say that my greatest desire is for autonomy and I want Rider to have that too. Even if we choose not to open our marriage I want to make sure it’s for the right reasons. I do not want to operate from a place of fear but of freedom and generosity. Maybe mono is for us but then again maybe poly would be great too. We’ll just have to see.
Let me say thank you to all the poster who I have grieved with and learned from in the past few days. I’m looking forward to interacting with you.
married, heterosexual female currently in a newly opened relationship; married to IDRider47
"Courage is going from failure to failure without a loss of enthusiasm" Winston Churchill
"A ship in the harbor is safe. But that's not what ships are made for" William Shedd