Originally Posted by cruftnot
Is there anyone here who considered or had a divorce because they were poly with a monogamous spouse or a spouse with a stiflingly restrictive view of poly?
If so -- how did you make your decision to stay or go?
Are you happy with it in retrospect?
It's been on the burner-pretty much since I put my foot down adn said "I'm sorry, I didn't know before-but I do know now, that I'm poly and I just can't be the person I said I would be when we married." I laid out who I was and what that meant and told him if he wanted a divorce, I'd respectfully do that with no fight over our kids, finances etc. But, that I DO love him and DO NOT want a divorce.
At any rate, that was Sept '09. It's been a nightmare of up's and down's, back and forth's. I don't know where it will lead. I do know that we're living separately now and that has decreased the drama signficantly-but.... not enough.
I don't think there is a "good time" or a "reasonable time" to say for sure it's been "long enough". That's so individual. I do think it's better to end it peacably if it ends... but when? No idea.