Brief update: guess who's making everyone go into therapy?
It is very fortunate that there are many therapists who are friendly to alternative lifestyles and conflicts.
She has been excellent in explaining medication interactions and that my extreme reactions are actually normal for (warning for people who are sensitive and are victims of assault) someone who was sexually assaulted in the past (by others).
There's still a long way to go. There has been and there will be no play between any of us. And they are not playing with anyone else unless I give specific permission. We're working on connection and understanding, something everyone admits they should have done on day one.
For the first time in a long time I have hope this can work out.