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Old 06-08-2011, 05:18 AM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Your compromises don't need to be so bleak. Davis may have the right to ask for that, but you don't have to acquiesce. Your compromise might simply be limiting the frequency you see him, to find a way to include him in your schedule but -- why do you think it is necessary to give Davis so much say in your life?
Well... it's looking like it's either figure out an arrangement that works for both of us or lose him. Some things I'm not willing to compromise on, like Gia and Eric. The rest is, at the very least, up for consideration. It's a weighing of priorities, for me. You're right that there may be other compromises available, I'm just not sure of that yet since Davis and I still haven't had The Talk.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
He has already told you he wants to be your primary, but maybe you don't need a primary. Maybe you like it just the way it is. I don't think it's fair for Davis to come in and expect to assert himself as a major part of your life after all the personal growth work and investment you've made with Gia and Eric.
VERY good points. At least the first parts, about not necessarily needing a primary, and about liking my life fine the way it is.

As for the rest, he's been a part of big part of my life (as a friend, then as a boyfriend, then as a friend-with-benefits) for almost a decade now, so it's not like he's some random dude who just showed up and started making demands. And like I said, I'm not giving up anything I have with Gia and Eric for Davis's sake.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Do you still have insecurities about your place in G & E's lives that you feel drawn to Davis more? As if it's a sure thing? Don't be duped by your fears into something that would squash who you are!
I really don't think it's about that, but I can see why it would seem that way. Also, I'm really not sure that having some limits put on the formation of new relationships would affect who I am, y'know? It's just something that I have to decide whether or not I believe I'd be happy with.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Please rethink this willingness you have to hand over the reins to Davis!!! It doesn't look like even a remotely good idea from over here.
Well, no promises. I still don't feel much closer to making a decision. Ugh, why am I so bad at this?
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