Thread: on trying again
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Old 06-08-2011, 03:37 AM
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stargazer23 stargazer23 is offline
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I think it's definitely doable as long as there's a trend of respect and honesty there and NOT a trend of co-dependence, ugly fights or damaging behavior.

You have to understand that while you may indeed be starting a NEW relationship, you also have a preconceived image of the person in your head and how you fit with them. You're gonna return to at least some old habits. This can be a very very good thing. Habits like instinctively respecting each others' quirks, steering clear of certain topics, touching them in that spot they love to be touched in are like riding a bicycle and give you a head start on achieving healthy intimacy.

There are some damned good reasons I can think of why it wouldn't work then but would work later on...like a change in motives, goals, needs. I mean, the very BASIS of this orientation is the understanding and acceptance that we as people change and need different/better suited/a variety of people to satisfy our needs throughout life. Renewed interest in someone with whom you have an established friendship based on trust can be like finding a $100 bill in an old jacket you haven't worn in years.

If, however, you tend to react to stimulus A by screaming and he tends to react to stimulus B by shutting down on purpose just to hurt you, I'd say skip it and enjoy the friendship. It's not worth the potential for pain and abuse.
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