Thread: on trying again
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Old 06-08-2011, 03:37 AM
stargazer23's Avatar
stargazer23 stargazer23 is offline
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: South of the Mason-Dixon
Posts: 30

I think it's definitely doable as long as there's a trend of respect and honesty there and NOT a trend of co-dependence, ugly fights or damaging behavior.

You have to understand that while you may indeed be starting a NEW relationship, you also have a preconceived image of the person in your head and how you fit with them. You're gonna return to at least some old habits. This can be a very very good thing. Habits like instinctively respecting each others' quirks, steering clear of certain topics, touching them in that spot they love to be touched in are like riding a bicycle and give you a head start on achieving healthy intimacy.

There are some damned good reasons I can think of why it wouldn't work then but would work later a change in motives, goals, needs. I mean, the very BASIS of this orientation is the understanding and acceptance that we as people change and need different/better suited/a variety of people to satisfy our needs throughout life. Renewed interest in someone with whom you have an established friendship based on trust can be like finding a $100 bill in an old jacket you haven't worn in years.

If, however, you tend to react to stimulus A by screaming and he tends to react to stimulus B by shutting down on purpose just to hurt you, I'd say skip it and enjoy the friendship. It's not worth the potential for pain and abuse.
"Although the most acute judges of the witches and even the witches themselves, were convinced of the guilt of witchery, the guilt nevertheless was non-existent. It is thus with all guilt."
-Friedrich Nietzsche

How can you claim to love someone with all your heart if you can't stand to let them love with all of theirs?
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