Originally Posted by vixtresses
Hi! (OMG a person!
In my blog!)
Nope, the two of us aren't dead set... but it's an idealistic hope of DF's. I don't know if he's dead set on it or not, but since we only talked about it yesterday, and I was the one who brought it up, it's a little soon to be insisting that I can just jump right in.
All those questions you have are the same ones running through my head, but I don't want to bombard him all at once with questions. I guess I'm afraid it'll come across as pushy and demanding.
He did mention that he thought it would take a really long time to find someone he clicks with who would be OK with getting into a relationship with an engaged man.
I think that yeah, it's to avoid jealousy issues and to try and minimize one of us being stuck alone at home while the other is off enjoying NRE and fun times with someone else.
And what if OG might have been interested in a relationship, but because I waited, he finds someone else?
Meanwhile, DF has OK'd maintaining the status quo with OG, which is basically, we can spend time together, cuddle, give eachother backrubs.
I guess I need to talk (some more) with DF... I just don't know what to say that we haven't already said. He seems open to it, but I wonder if his restriction that we wait until he's found someone means that he's really not OK with it?
Well he does sound pretty open to it considering you only suggested it yesterday. Keeping it low pressure is a good idea too, but it sounds like the two of you have lots to talk about still. It is not the sort of thing you want to meander into, hoping you both "get" each others intentions through it all. Are you hoping for a LTR? Is DF? How deep are your desires for this kind of relationship, does he share your views?
I know it was only yesterday, but a lifetime is a long road. It pays to understand where the other is coming from. If jealousy could be an issue with DF, are you prepared for it? What if your relationship progresses more quickly than his or vice versa? Of course you are not going to reinvent the wheel overnight, but knowing where you stand is everything.
Either way it sounds like he is open and pretty comfortable so far, this is good.
That he is receptive to your current level of interaction with OG (Work on those acronyms, LULZ!) Just keep communication open, very open. I would suggest that both of you do a lot of reading on this forum. There is a wealth of information on questions you may have, and probably lots you haven't even thought of yet.
And yes, there are lots of "real people" on here