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Old 06-07-2011, 06:39 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
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Originally Posted by glassboheme View Post
And I can't talk to my BF. I feel like it's wrong to talk to him about the pain another 'relationship' has caused.


My boyfriend is very understanding, and wants me to follow my heart, but I can also tell that he gets a little jealous.
Guilty is not useful, you are what you are and you have every right to feel love for others outside of your relationship. Your partner loves you and SHOULD be the one you talk to. He is the one that you should be able to rely on for a shoulder to cry on for all your woes in life no? If your gandma died you would, if your freind dumped you you would.... why wouldn't you for this? That is what builds strong healthy relationships. His jealousy will likely wain if you show him how much you need his support by having a good cry over this with him. Tell him you need his support and love and that will likely never change if he gives it to you and he will likely feel like the big man in your life that he wants to feel like. A huge gift to any partner struggling to be okay with a partner exploring their sexuality.

Originally Posted by glassboheme View Post
I tried talking to my therapist, and he says that if these feelings are so strong, maybe I'm a lesbian. This idea terrifies me- what if I am? What happens to the wonderful hetero relationship I'm in??? If I was single it wouldn't be as big of a deal.

This is starting to tear me up inside. I've come to almost hate my sexuality for this reason. Why can't I just have something 'normal'? A hetero, monogamous relationship.

Please help!
Ya, well, you are normal. At least in my world you would be.

Sorry, but likely your therapist is full of shit and you need a new one that knows a bit more about diverse relationship dynamics and sexuality. Yours is naive and ill educated. No therapist should be telling you you are anything. Good therapists allow you to tell them what you think you are... it sounds like they want an easy job of it and is putting that on you. So sorry they aren't able to look outside their comfort level. Finding another therapist that knows of what you speak might indicate one way of the other what is going on for you.

Lastly, chicky who left you high and dry? Not worth your time. Some people on dating sites and the like, just like to know they are desired and then when it comes down to it they got what they want and bail... she might also of been cheating. It seems to be a common way for lesbians to deal with the end of a relationship to cheat and find another... serial monogamy is the name of the game for a lot of lesbians... or it could be the fact that you have cock in your life was too much for her. Regardless, the message is loud and clear, you are not what she wants for herself... so, move on and chalk it up to experience.... she wasn't worth the effort, but someone will be.
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