My therapist says I'm a lesbian
I've been with my boyfriend for over a year and a half, and for the most part it's pretty great. Except, I'm bi, and desperately want something with a girl. I've never really been with a girl before, and I've wondered if that has fueled my interest.
I've been talking to this very interesting, very beautiful lesbian on and off for a few months. Sunday, her and I were suppose to go out on a date, and she completely bailed on me. I called, texted, and msged her on facebook, and she never responded. I just hate being in such a good relationship, but feel like I was just broken up with. And I can't talk to my BF. I feel like it's wrong to talk to him about the pain another 'relationship' has caused.
Even though I'm honest, I feel so selfish for looking outside our relationship, and even more so if I start talking about it. My boyfriend is very understanding, and wants me to follow my heart, but I can also tell that he gets a little jealous.
I tried talking to my therapist, and he says that if these feelings are so strong, maybe I'm a lesbian. This idea terrifies me- what if I am? What happens to the wonderful hetero relationship I'm in??? If I was single it wouldn't be as big of a deal.
This is starting to tear me up inside. I've come to almost hate my sexuality for this reason. Why can't I just have something 'normal'? A hetero, monogamous relationship.