Is poly really for me? Maybe not?
I sometimes wonder that myself. I mean, I think I am not really cut out for it in many ways. I feel like I am monogamous with the partners I have, if that makes sense? So does that make me poly still. The term doesn't seem to fit where anyone else is at most of the time.
Frankly, there is a lot more to life than poly and I am content to be settled in and doing other things. Does that make me less poly? I dunno... I wonder.
For me, poly is about enough love and enough sex, enough communication and openness and enough giving and receiving. At the end of the day, if that is all taken care of, what is there really to keep talking about or find out? Its a regurgitation of more of the same stuff, over and over....
If its enough, its enough and rather than continuing to clamor for more that I can't fit in anyway, then it makes me think that poly isn't for me... I guess because those I see around me are clamoring it seems and are poly... ? Poly seems to be a lot about clamoring... clamoring to understand, be accepted, to find others, etc....
I don't clamor to "get" anything right now, so it makes me feel un-poly. I feel accepted, understood, have found others.... its all good. In a sense, poly in the clamoring sense of it, is not for me.
I totally get why when a tribe settles in they disappear off the radar. It becomes so unimportant that I identify as poly and so much more important that I just get about the business of living that I become uninterested in paying attention to my community.
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