- yes, she knew about the affair. In fact, she figured it out before I ever told her, as she knew him already and picked up on the vibes. She's always been hyper-intuitive about me and my life, and so I guess I figured she'd somehow mysteriously know anyway. What you suggested I tell her makes a lot of sense- I just stammered my way through the conversation. I was a miserable wreck when I was having the affair, and I feel 1,000 times better now that my husband and I are living our lives openly and ethically. I swear- there are people who have an easier time understanding an affair than with understanding polyamory.
Sounds like I have some boundary issues to work on, where she's concerned. I probably shouldn't have told her. I guess my thought was that "open" means that you have to be out with the entire world right away, and that's taking the definition a bit too literally.