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Old 06-06-2011, 05:38 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
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Your question isn't very clear.

I will say, it seems that most people who wind up with a married person, who was until that point living monogamously, either developed a friendship first, whether through work, close proximity, other friends, whatever -- and that is where deeper feelings for each other blossomed. OR the married person pursued them, flirted with them, let them know they were interested, plain and simple.

Lots of married people SAY they're mono and yet give off an available vibe. Lots of married people think that being monogamous gives them license to flirt and toy with others' affections because they feel that the other person should know they're not going to follow through.

However, I think it is far less common for a person who lives polyamorously to try convincing a married mono person they just met to change and be with them. If someone is used to being ethical in their poly relationships, they are unlikely to toss away their standards despite having an attraction to a married mono person.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 06-06-2011 at 05:42 PM.
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