Thanks a lot for all the answers!
You're really helping me think this through.
I'm thinking, why do I have the assumption that loving somebody and still not being able to have a relationship with them will hurt (and not just a little but like your world is going to end). I mean, what is the underlying assumption? I'm thinking it goes something along the lines of "it is only worth it to love somebody if you can have them all for yourself". That's just so far from what I think and feel.
I wrote in some of my first posts here that I don't really identify as polyamorous (so much as I just happen to be in a polyamorous relationship). But I think this is beginning to change. It does seem that this is how I am and how I feel. Doesn't mean I have to have a (romantic) relationship with every person I may love now or in the future, only that I can connect lovingly to many people at once.