Originally Posted by nycindie
Actually, that's something to watch out for in any relationship, not just a do-over. Good luck!
I love this. And it's true... every relationship goes through rough patches. Hubs and I have made some HUGE changes in the past 4 months-- basically we finally are getting are acts together, working on our individual stuff, making changes in how we relate and communicate... it's very much like being in a BRAND new relationship with a new person that's vaguely familiar.
There have been a couple of bumps where something comes up that was a big reminder of shite from the past-- and I think you are absolutely right in that in that case we just need to recognize it, realize the relationship is not the same as it was then, possibly communicate about it if needed (as in, this is something I noticed, which is why I had a reaction...), and move on.
Hubs and I talked about it and I just told him it might take a little bit of time for me to not react to situations in the same way, since some of the situations are SUPER reminiscent of other times in our lives. I just need to remind myself that it's not the same, but also need the reinforcement of things NOT being the same. In time, I'm sure it will pass...