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Old 06-06-2011, 03:54 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is online now
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Oregon, USA
Posts: 1,437

Raga has been doing better lately about talking to me, so we talked for a few minutes a couple of times (through IMs) which is good. It's been over five months now so I'm glad it's progressing.
At the very beginning I was in a weird place, knowing I needed to give him time but wishing we could be friends again right away. After a couple of months I was in a bad place, I felt we'd never be friends again, and pretty much everyone I talked to who also knew him had shunned me so I wasn't really sure how to feel, I thought maybe I had hurt him more than I thought, I thought maybe he thought I had done things on purpose as opposed to doing what I felt was right.
I still though I had been right, but I was hurting in a lot of ways, and felt between a rock (my ex-friends who know thought I was a terrible person, and to the exception of one of them, refused to tell me why) and a hard place (my parents who were told about the break up and seemed to think it meant I magically had forgiven them for how horribly they had treated my husband, but as a result were pretty much the only people offering support, which I felt I had to refuse since that would have been, in my opinion, insulting to Raga).

Now, I wasn't completely alone: one of the common friends I had with Raga was still talking to me and just wanted to be left out of the whole thing, I had two friends in France who supported me, and of course there was Seamus, who stuck to me through the whole thing even though he meant being away from me for so long.

But now, things are looking much better. I completely got over those ex-friends who just blocked/ignored me everywhere they could without a word of explanation (or a question asked to me about things they'd heard to even check if it was true), because, really, if you can't count on your friends to tell it to your face when they think you did something wrong, and then listen to what you have to say about it, they weren't your friends to begin with.
I went back to France, finally (one big reason for the break up, maybe the sparkle that caused it), I got to see the two friends in France who could provide me with support (which they couldn't do much before, mainly due to time difference), and I'm working to get a job. So on my side of things, life is good.

But on top of that, Raga is happier again, and not only does it mean he's talking to me a bit more, and hopefully on his way to be my friend full-time again, but it also makes everything worth it that I had to go through to reach that result. So I'm really happy about that.
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