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Old 06-05-2011, 04:08 AM
Minxxa Minxxa is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 495

So things have been going well. Hubs and his new GF have been hanging out, about once a week, but it seems like June will be tough because of other obligations. Anyway, it has given me more time to get used to it on a regular basis, which is something we haven't had in the past since hubs usually had long distance loves that he would get together with every year or so for a weekend.

It's been good mostly-- I realized I was seeing his dates as something to "get through", and last week I thought about that and realized that's not the way I need to be thinking about it. I need to get used to this being a normal part of life. I might still need to do things to keep myself busy, and be aware of any feelings that come up, but it's not something to "tough out". It's a part of life I need to integrate more fully.

Each time I realize new things about myself. This time I realized that I am NOT good with sudden changes in plan-- and that has to do with everything, not just poly stuff. So there is always going to be a certain amount of -- discomfort-- when things come up suddenly or change. An example-- hubs emailed me on Friday about possibly seeing the GF on saturday. The funny part is that I had a feeling they'd want to get together Saturday so i wasn't surprised.

However, in talking this morning it came out that they were going somewhere about an hour away for dinner and hanging out and were going to get a hotel room because they didn't want to drink and drive. And for some reason, I had a gut reaction about it. After I thought about it I realized that all it was was me being made uncomfortable because the evening I had envisioned them having had evolved into something else. LOL... I'm such a dork!!

Anyway, it all worked out fine. I went and walked with the pup and did some sprints this morning which helped clear my mind. and hubs and I got to chat a bit this afternoon and he said some really nice things. And then I went to hot yoga today, which will definitely take every bit of anxiety and worry you have and make you too hot, sweaty and tired to remember them. There's also a point in the beginning of the class when you send an intention out into the world, and I sent love and goodwill out to hubs and his gf. Very cleansing experience.
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