View Single Post
Old 06-04-2011, 10:26 PM
muse4 muse4 is offline
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 6
Default yup, i see the flags too

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
I just hope that you're not chalking your reaction off as simply a response to the D/s stuff, in a way that would minimize what you felt. Your upset was genuine and I think anyone would have been affected if they found that ad after being under the impression he wasn't into or looking for casual sex. Now, did he have any takers, I wonder?

Also, I find it more than a bit perturbing that he did such a thing in anger AND that he claims to have been poly for 20+ years yet doesn't want you to see anyone else. That seems rather possessive and hypocritical on his part. Is he a sexist only into OPP (one penis policy)? I see some SERIOUS red flags here!!
thanks, I really appreciate the validation. Not trying to minimize--but to understand why I had an over-reaction (I was pretty unglued.) I'm still leery and being cautious. I see the red flags too--he's not necessarily OPP, but I think he's more sexist than he would admit. And/Or this is new to him--his other partners have tended to have a lower libido than I and were satisfied with one partner at a time. (he's had a couple of long-term "V"s over the years) Damn that double-standard that haunts women everywhere!

The anger does puzzle me but he does have trouble with "conflict" as he puts it, so maybe the anger was building as he was avoiding talking to me? Not sure. When we talked the other night he seemed to be uncharacteristically judgmental about my "choices" about others but I wonder if his ego was bruised. Like I said, he's not used to the woman having an equal or greater sex drive.

Lots more for us to explore if he's willing. If he's not, then I know what I have to do.
Reply With Quote