Originally Posted by toralatigra
we're out there, you just have to be open to us.
Originally Posted by redpepper
hey. Would you be willing to write on this thread about what's in it for a unicorn?
I would love to know what would make your heart go pitter patter...
RP asked me to comment on this thread since it would seem not many unicorns have responded here.
I think one common thing that I've liked reading in this thread are the people who have brought up to think of unicorn's not as some third, outside, obtainable thing, but as another person. I personally am not really a big fan of the term unicorn since it makes me feel like I'm not a normal person. Or that I am that conquest or addition to a relationship.
When I've talked with a couple, one of the things I preface is my desire to have relationships with each of them, the model mentioned earlier of a&b, b&c, a&c, and a,b &c - is the exact thing I desire. The original couple have things unique to them, that's what made them a couple in the first place, if I try to have a relationship with them - I will always be the third wheel. However if we cultivate relationships as the individuals we are, then I will become an equal in the triad - or at least that's how I see it working/would hope it happens. I think part of it is that if the couple is open to developing relationships as individuals, it shows that the couple is more apt to see me as an equal member, rather than as a secondary thought.
So RP also asked me to comment on what makes my heart go pitter patter, so I think I'll tie that into what's in it for me as a 'unicorn' or as that single bi girl looking for a couple.
There are things about men and women that are very unique. The touch of a man even holding a mans hand differs greatly from the touch or holding the hand of a woman. I love the sensations of both though! Part of the draw of a couple, for me anyways, is that not only would I be satisfying both my needs/desires for a man and a woman, but it would allow me to express my love in many different ways. I find that I express love differently with a man, than I do with a woman. But the other part of the draw is that I know the couple is very capable of love already - by being a couple and having been together for however long (ideally a few years before I would enter the picture) I would be able to see how much love they have for each other, and know that that love is going to be coming my way as well!
Other people have pointed out that an advantage is more love... well I think that's true for all of polyamory - so really the main advantage is not having to deny myself loving a man and a woman.... I dont have to choose one or the other! And that's a big part of what makes my heart go pitter patter - Not having to choose, always having someone to do the things I enjoy doing with - be it him and we go to football games together because she doesnt like football, but i happen to love it! - or her and I go to a spa once a month and soak up the girly goodness of a spa day - which he isn't so into. And when we all come back together, we can cook together, love together, cuddle together... etc... I love being around people, so a triad that allows me to express myself in all aspects of who I am... it just makes me so excited!
RP - I hope this helps, sorry it such a long post!