I definitely am with those encouraging you to do some things just for you. She has her loves, you need yours too, whether that's another woman, or an entirely engrossing hobby, either way, I think you should look for some things just for you. Maybe a night off away from her, away from the kids, etc. She has her nights, maybe you need it too. Maybe instead of just hiking, bivy for a night. For me, sleeping in nature really helps hit the "reset" button.
Best of luck man, there are a lot of great threads and amazing experiences to learn from on this site. You've come to the right place.