Originally Posted by Morningglory629
Food for thought LR. I often say, can we not just agree to disagree? But some people can't let things go at that. and that is usually when I become obstinate.
BUT YOU ARE SO RIGHT! I have X amount of time, and letting resentment build because of having to drop things and rearrange my schedule to always be accomodating has definitely left me less accepting. So thank you for this post.
MG-it's certainly a lesson in progress for me. I often am able to agree to disagree, you are right, there are those who are NOT. But, it's not necessary for me to PROVE my point. It's necessary for me to do what it is that makes me the best possible version of myself and if that is difficult for them-they can handle that on their time. They have the right (just as do I) to take up their time ANYWAY THEY WANT TO on their own. They don't have the right to enforce that I also participate in the way they are taking up their time.
This IS hard for me, because, using the example of Maca; I love him and I want to spend time with him. BUT-if spending time with him creates conflict and guilt and problems because he doesn't want to spend that time here... then it's not time well spent.
I'm better off (as crazy as it feels in the moment) waiting for a time when I can spend it with him in a way we are BOTH happy and enjoying.
Easier said that done for sure. But, I'm getting better at letting myself do what I need to do. Last night I wanted to spend with him-when he said he didn't have to work til late I was BENT with desire to be with him. But, I didnt' want to leave the little one with GG again. I wanted to get her through her shower, wash her up and have some cuddle time before she went to bed because I babysat another 7month old all day so we didnt' get our cuddle time in.
I chose to stay home. It was the right choice. I missed him. But, it's HIS RIGHT and HIS CHOICE to not be here. THIS is my home and my life and my family and my choice.
Originally Posted by rory
I try to change them even when nobody has asked me to, because I assume they won't be accepted by others. I think a lot of this has to do with being afraid. But I have to try to stop doing this because it is not beneficial to anybody (least to myself).
Ah yes, not helpful. Having done that for years and slammed my head into the proverbial door of reality one to many times I can tell you-it's mUCH MUCH MUCH easier to live life with joy and fulfiflment if you allow yourself the privilege of being who you are.