Originally Posted by glowinthedarkstars
River, I dont think I was really ever poly.
You've just said that you love both of them and are in love with both of them, simultaniosly. That means that you are polyamorous -- since you're also honest about it with them. It's not like you've been cheating.
But you have pain about the relationships, as you say. And you seem to think that if it were not for there being two of them there'd not be the pain.
Is the pain about her rejection of your polyamory? Does she want you to be exclusive with her?
You say you don't want to "dump" either. But will she still love you if you are not exclusive with her? Does she resent your boyfriend, or the fact that you also have a boyfriend?
You say you don't think you're poly, but you seem quite confused about that to me.