Nothing like poly to dredge up EVERYTHING! Unfortunately she will have to expect more of the same until all the work is done. There is no way around it, she has to go right through it and deal.
It sounds like you are strong and learning some amazing things for yourself. Isn't it great. It feels so good to be on top of your game, learning, growing, really living! I'm happy for you as I know how wonderful that feels to be riding high and standing proud for all you have accomplished.
If your relationship does end, you will have grown and will be ready for something better. If it doesn't, with this new way of being and your new strength, you will have an even richer relationship for it. Provided she does the work too that is.
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