Yes totally agree. I am not going to do that.
We had a talk last night. I told her how I felt hurt that she should have thought about me and taken things slow. She knew I was not totally comfortable with things. The problem was she performed three big things to him and one of which was something I wanted to leave between us. It was my fault I did not communicate this to her and I admitted that.
She then started feeling "slutty" because she did so much. She got all upset and was crying. I eventually calmed her down. I told her it's a double standard with men and women and she shouldn't feel like that. It was with someone she loves and someone I trust and approve of. I think she is coming to grips with it.
To be honest, I really wanted to end this all. Right now it just makes me so uncomfortable that I am willing to end my physical relationship with my OSO. In the end, I decided that I would fight through these feelings. Making her happy is my main concern. Obviously if 6 months goes by and I can't come to grips with it then fine I will deal with it then. Until then I want to try and deal with these emotions.