Originally Posted by redpepper
I'm right there with you derby. Maybe this is all she is capable of. Maybe her idea of "girlfriend" is different than yours. Maybe your husbands idea of "girlfriend" is also. There are all kinds of relationships and althought it might be frustrating to understand, it just is.
I would wonder what is behind it for you? Do you need a break? Would you like her to take a share in responsibilities? It might be that changing your view on her and what they have, what expectations you have as a result, will help you be less frustrated and hurt on his behalf.
I agree here RP. Derbs maybe she is just letting you do your thing and not wanting to intrude. Does II want her there? If so, maybe someone should make a call. I mean it may just be a case of not knowing what he wants or needs, or what you are comfortable with. Then again it may not be her schtick. I know I would be there in a heartbeat. But I also know I may not always be welcomed. Depending on who is there etc. Know what I mean? Don't assume, but this is an opportunity to address the issue for future reference. I had a similar situation with 2rings when my mom was in the hospital for heart stent surgery. I needed him but he didn't realize how much. And he did not want to intrude on hubs. He would change that now if he could, and he knows in the future what my expectations are. So maybe that is all that needs to happen, an invitation.
Hugs to ya. Must be stressful! Stay positive.