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Old 06-01-2011, 04:09 AM
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Kittywitch Kittywitch is offline
Join Date: May 2011
Location: N. Little Rock, AR
Posts: 18

Originally Posted by AutumnalTone View Post
Why would a supposedly poly man get involved with a woman with those issues? How can he be honest and forthright about his relationships if he's hiding some of them from that one? Something smells fishy.
This is part of why I was concerned. I've said for years now that I refused to be what I refer to as a "closet girlfriend"; someone who you're dating in secret. I also know that this is a bit no-no in regard to polyamory.

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
I think you need to ask yourself why you were panicking over someone you've only messaging for a week, and have only spoken to once, just because he was out of touch for... less than a day? It sounds like you really put too much focus on this person. It's not a relationship yet; keep talking to other guys. See what's out there.
While we've been texting for now a week and a half (since the 22nd), my concern (not panic) was that - until the other day when I posted this - we had been in almost constant connection. As for talking to other guys - who said I wasn't? I didn't close myself off, but find that most people - guys or girls - ignore that I am there.

Originally Posted by Hopeful View Post
Think about it from his perspective: even if the girl he's talking with doesn't demonstrate jealous tendencies, he can hardly stop talking to her every few to text us, right? How does he explain that? "Oh, sorry, texting my, I swear, I'm not a pig, she's married...please sit back down...oh. OK. Call me?"
You make it out like I sent him something every three minutes. I sent a total of 3 messages over the course of like 6 hours - one of which was at a time where it was safe to assume if this person was just company, rather than a potential love(because he had not told me either way), that they would have left for the evening. As for the comments on what he might say, I would think that he would be forthright with the information that he is interested in me. Oh, and I'm not married.... Engaged, but not married. I realize it's close, but still..

Originally Posted by Hopeful View Post
Also this. I've been close friends with my potential OSO for over six years. If he's not available, he's not available. Sometimes we do go a day or two without talking. It happens - and when it does, I typically can assume it's because he's with family, or at the bar with his buddies, or () playing golf. Or maybe talking to a woman who could actually see him in person more than once in a while, which is fair. A relationship develops over time, organically, and a week is just not long enough for you to even know his schedule or habits well enough to judge what his silence means. Just relax and let what happens happen.
As I said above, this was the first time that he had not spoken to me - aside from a few minutes here and there. If you knew someone who regularly got a-hold of you, and suddenly stopped for no apparent reason, are you telling me that you wouldn't be concerned?! Even if I wasn't interested in dating him, if any of my friends did this, I would wonder what I had said/done to do this, or what had happened.
Shrink and Rei
N. Little Rock M/F Couple
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