Originally Posted by sinew
But now, emotions are running very high, and there is talk of Juliet or Charlie cutting one another out of their lives and just living with their own misery and resentment toward me... Which of course sounds like a disaster to me, and probably the end of my marriage.
To me it sounds like they are not willing to slow down to allow you to process and deal with things and the statement above (in bold) sounds like cruel manipulations on their part. To me this sounds like they are saying that they don't care about your pain and they will either do what they want at whatever pace they wish to take it (which the affair also said) or they will make your life a living hell.
Do NOT hide your pain. Maybe you do need to make greater efforts to clue everyone in when you are struggling with stuff. Don't wait until you get to the end of the rope, address stuff early. I am also of the opinion that it is your husbands duty to clue HIS girlfriend into the fact that your are still struggling. You shouldn't have to get on the phone or e-mail the next morning after a 2am crying session, just to make sure she is culed in to your struggles, she's not your girlfriend. He's not being honest with either of you. JMO