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Old 10-06-2009, 05:58 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723

Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
You are asking a lot of this man. He deserves time to seriously consider if it's worth it to HIM.
Well said lovingradiance. I would agree with this. Poly, to a seemingly uneducated non-poly, blows their mind. He needs some time and a discussion about what you intend to achieve with a secondary, any secondary... no pressure to him.

After explaining where you are coming from, what Poly is and what it means to you, tell him that you enjoy his friendship and feel you could have something more with him. After that tell him you are going to leave him with him and would like it if he would be willing to check in if he is interested., then leave it alone and see where it goes next.

Remember that he may say "no thanks," but at least you got some practice out of it and will be better at your game next time. No harm in that. Just don't invest too much emotion in him until you know he is game. If he isn't then graciously give him space and act as if you are not effected... he doesn't need your drama. Especially if he is kind enough to let you down nicely. and especially if you want to stay friends... there is nothing less appealing than a whiny friend... well a whiny anyone really
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