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Old 05-31-2011, 04:28 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 8,771

It sounds like the experience has been good for her. What is it that you fear the most? I say "fear" because your reaction is quite extreme, especially after "allowing" this relationship. You share things that you own; you do not own your wife. Poly is about love, not just sex, and love is expansive. Don't you want the people you love to be happy and free? Have you and this other couple been too focused on the physical and not enough on building loving relationships? Is this disgust based on attachment and possessiveness, or a feeling that what she is doing makes you less of a man or husband? Turn it around - What about what you do? Aren't you sexual with the other couple yourself? Should she be disgusted at that? Or want you to feel satisfaction and freedom? Do you have a double standard when it comes to what is allowable for a man and a woman in a couple? I think you have to dig deep to get underneath the reactions you are having and see where they are coming from in order to "deal with" them.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.

Last edited by nycindie; 05-31-2011 at 04:31 AM.
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