It sounds like the experience has been good for her. What is it that you fear the most? I say "fear" because your reaction is quite extreme, especially after "allowing" this relationship. You share things that you own; you do not own your wife. Poly is about love, not just sex, and love is expansive. Don't you want the people you love to be happy and free? Have you and this other couple been too focused on the physical and not enough on building loving relationships? Is this disgust based on attachment and possessiveness, or a feeling that what she is doing makes you less of a man or husband? Turn it around - What about what you do? Aren't you sexual with the other couple yourself? Should she be disgusted at that? Or want you to feel satisfaction and freedom? Do you have a double standard when it comes to what is allowable for a man and a woman in a couple? I think you have to dig deep to get underneath the reactions you are having and see where they are coming from in order to "deal with" them.
The world opens up... when you do.
Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein
Last edited by nycindie; 05-31-2011 at 04:31 AM.