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Old 10-06-2009, 03:08 AM
violet violet is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Nevada
Posts: 93
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
Thumbs up to this!

Additionally, lets face up to something. All of us. We always talk about not judging on here but c'mon, sometimes people's actions require judgement to advance our personal growth and learn how to interact appropriately with the feelings of other human beings! If no one told us shitty behaviour was in fact "shitty" we would probably perpetuate it indefinitely if it suites our needs. Enough is enough. Tell him what you think about his behaviour and let him know how it makes you feel. If it disappoints you, then say so.
EXACTLY. I realize that by sheer virtue of the lifestyle those of us here lead that we aren't judgmental. But, as you said, SOMETIMES people's actions DO in fact requite exactly that.

HMA, Anne, and I had an uncomfortable conversation last night - not about this particular subject, but about certain behaviors that any one of us was exhibiting, how it was inappropriate, and ways to get around it. We did have to deal with a little bit of feeling "attacked" and such, but without those judgments on our actions and our characters - we can't grow and thrive in our relationship.

I can truthfully say that from an objective standpoint, the time has come to make a call and draw a line in the sand. I fear that if you don't, a situation like this has the chance of making you harbor resentment against the people involved - which is just NEVER a good thing - based on the way your values are being challenged by those who are supposed to understand and support them.
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