Originally Posted by violet
Your entire situation hits VERY close to home. HMA and I have run into something similar with our "unicorn", Anne. She is currently in a long-distance relationship with a friend-turned-lover, while dating us. She has made it sound sort of like she was ready to break it off, etc, etc. But she's dragging her feet. She's even going up to see him this weekend - and he has no idea about HMA or me. ANYWAY.
Personally, I don't feel as though it's you trying to control their time together. I don't even really see how it could be construed that way. Ultimately, you have a say in what goes on under your own roof. Don't constrict time outside your home - but by all means, keep that foot down when it comes inside your front door!
Thumbs up to this!
Additionally, lets face up to something. All of us
. We always talk about not judging on here but c'mon, sometimes people's actions require judgement to advance our personal growth and learn how to interact appropriately with the feelings of other human beings! If no one told us shitty behaviour was in fact "shitty" we would probably perpetuate it indefinitely if it suites our needs. Enough is enough. Tell him what you think about his behaviour and let him know how it makes you feel. If it disappoints you, then say so.