Originally Posted by redpepper
I hope it didn't seem like that from me. I would likely go into this more out of curiousity than with any kind of idea anything would come out of it. Mostly for closurers sake I think. If I didn't go and meet him I would always wonder what happened or what could of happened.
It kind of did.
Maybe it's just me, but on this forum I see a lot of encouraging people to "work" on relationships that are just... doomed to failure. It seems like in order to be "good poly people", we're supposed to leave no stone unturned when it comes to dealing with other people's bullshit.
I read these posts from people describing their situation, and if THEY read their OWN posts from an outsider's perspective, they'd say, "What the FUCK was I THINKING, getting involved with this person?"
Like this story:
OP wants an open relationship.
OP ASSUMES that because partner is "older", he must be agreeable to that, despite the fact that he refuses to talk about it. RED FLAG #1
OP knows that partner has a history of relationships not lasting very long ("Oh, but it will be different with ME because he's never been with anyone as awesome as ME. He'll change for ME.") RED FLAG #2
Partner behaves in predictable fashion in accordance with past relationship patterns and finds a Shiny New Toy to play with. Old Rusty Toy gets tossed into the scrap-heap.
Old Rusty Toy still thinks that there is something in it for her and finds an internet forum from whence to seek validation.
OK. Whatever makes your day go by.