Thread: poly imposter?
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Old 05-30-2011, 12:57 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: new england
Posts: 3,217

Originally Posted by jenniferjuniper View Post
who I thought was open to the us pursuing an open relationship at some point as he is much older than I am.
You thought (assumed) that just because he is older that he would want an open relationship?

I often tried to broach the subject to get him to open up about what would interest him should the opportunity present itself but he seemed to shy away from frank discussion.
When you tried to discuss an open relationship he avoided it.

But last week he told me he had met someone a couple of weeks back whom he has feelings for and wants to explore things with. He told me he wanted to break up.
He met someone else whom he dumped you for.

Since that night he's emailed me just about everyday but won't discuss the other relationship with me. Is this a case of someone being manipulative?
It's a case of you allowing yourself to put up with someone else's bullshit.

I would have been happy to bring other people into the relationship if he had been honest and direct with me about it, and considerate. But his actions seem to me kind of sneaky and selfish. I felt ambushed. Am I overreacting?
Yes. You did not have an "open relationship" with this man in the first place, except perhaps in your imagination.

He also said he is beginning therapy to deal with all the stress of work and now this. He wants to talk to me on Tuesday. I'm thinking maybe I should move on given the huge failure in communication and that he has never been in a relationship that lasted longer than 5 years. What do you guys think?
He broke up with YOU. YOU are the one who seems to know what you want and that you're not going to get it with this man. He was never a "poly imposter" because according to your story, you two never actually agreed to a "poly" relationship. "Imposter" is when someone PRETENDS to be someone they aren't. It does not sound like this man pretended to be anything, according to your story.

You know you shouldn't be wasting your time with this individual, but obviously other folks are already trying to talk you into staying with him. Pfeh.
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